Feedback from members of the Healed Being program

I want you to know this was better than what I had expected… I’m super dedicated to working out my internal issues.  I think what you have going is what the world needs. Brilliantly done… I appreciate this. I appreciate what you have created.  

P.T.

Big victory and big progress… we’ve been doing really well, and especially me. I’m not nearly as triggered by the small things that used to keep me mildly seething all the time. I’ve changed my pattern of behavior so now text messages from me no longer cause anxiety in my wife… I’m obviously not a perfectly healed being yet, but she acknowledges how much “lighter” I seem… She feels closer to me now than she’s felt in years. Walking around triggered all the time is not fun… The best part? The changes I’ve made feel more natural, like a veil has lifted and I’m finally the real me again.

P.W.

Somehow you seem to really get what the motivation behind my emotionally abusive behaviors are. I never would have considered myself an abusive person because I was a “good person”. However, my husband reached his give up point. He’s mad. He’s hurt. He has no idea who he is anymore. And I feel awful. Each of your lessons really help me dig into the ways I’m responsible for hurting him and creating a toxic relationship.

S.C.

You’ve already saved me, Paul… thank you, brother.

J.C.

…you meet us where we are and offer good words. Not necessarily encouragement but the words we need to hear, when we need to hear them most. I get more out of this [support] group and program than I ever do with therapy. My therapist loves to say “oh it’s ok to feel that way” and “marriage is a two way street she’s probably wrong about something”. Never saying things that I might actually need to hear, the truth, how to cope with it and how to respond to it.

T.G.

This program has changed my life. It got me out of a horrible relationship and made me feel I’ve changed myself enough to find someone great.

M.M.

My wife and I have come a long way… she has forgiven me and even gotten past the hate that was there at times. I attribute it to the lessons you have provided and the clarity I have seen by not drinking…

C.L.

…your program is incredibly helpful. In situation after situation I am able to use the tools you provide to prevent me from approaching things with a flame thrower. [My partner] has moved back in. We have re-connected on a much deeper and higher level for sure. It has the buzz of when we first met… I do every lesson and read every Q&A. I love it and THANK YOU!!!!!

J.W.

…finding Paul’s website has been nothing short of a miracle for me and I’m not the religious type. Everything in all the lessons and Q&A’s give me more insight into why I’ve done the things I’ve done and why my wife is feeling the way she is. I’m so thankful to have a space like this to vent, no one knows what’s going on with us and the only person I talk to is my therapist so thank you everyone for “listening” I appreciate you all. Paul thank you for creating this community.

M.C.

I am continuing to grow and complete your exercises and develop healthier coping mechanisms. I am now more aware of when I feel triggered in already two sessions with your program which is key and in turn I tell him I’m triggered and we talk about it. Knowing your out there has greatly helped me not feel so alone and almost forgive myself in a way and believe in the changes I can make. Thank you ?

U.P.

I wanted to reach out again to say thank you for sending the continued lessons! I have never received “self help ” or maybe the better word might be “truth ” well. Your lessons continue to be helpful and allow the rebuilding of my marriage, that I previously mentioned… came about as close to divorce as we could get! We have been both implementing parts of your lessons into our relationship to make the last 7 months go by so well that we are now considering moving back in together… Thanks again… we both appreciate the difference your lessons have made in both of our lives!

R.M.

Thank you so much for all the support and help throughout these lessons. Honestly, it has been some of the best learnings and reflection I could have had… one of the most important things I have learned is patience in listening and vulnerability. Both have been key in our situation improving, and even with challenging times that will be ahead as part of any relationship, I am learning how to apply these changes everyday.

C.L.

I am a participant of your Healed Being program. I am so glad that I stumbled upon you, and that you provide all of these amazing resources.

K.V.

Thanks so much for this. it’s saving my life. i think i knew it all along, but never knew (a) how to admit it, and (b) how to start stopping, if that makes sense. when she steered me here, it was a relief.

D.L.

Each lesson from the emails was almost exactly what I needed to hear or what I was going through. And when I had questions or needed feedback I came to this awesome group.

B.H.

I’m on lesson 6 and for anyone that wants to know for reference, this has been transformational, already. I know my work must continue and will continue as I absolutely love the results.

J.W.

I’m starting to feel more confident.. Yesterday, I can tell that my wife is trusting me a little bit more even though she says she can’t trust me. We had a wonderful night… She was cuddling with when usually she’s on her side. Yesterday was the best day we had in a long time… I’m noticing a shift in me. Your podcasts and lessons helped me so much. Thank you!!!

K.T.

Thanks for the lessons and information which I’m finding invaluable and really starting to make a positive difference in my life!

D.W.

I wanted to reach out and say thank you for these lessons. My wife almost left me this year. It was the hardest time in my life… We have recently reconnected. I thought there was no chance. I started your lessons a few weeks after she left. Because of your lessons and some other healing I have been trying, I feel I’m going to be able to show up the right way for her this time. Thank you so much for sending these lessons every week, they have made a profound difference in my life.  

R.M.

I’m so thankful I came across you and your resources. It’s so worth the investment, and already in the last 48hrs I’m feeling better and supported through this group here.

C.L.

Thank-you for this latest lesson, Paul. It is very timely for me

J.Y.

Your course has been such a blessing for me in this time in my life. I have received therapy with different psychologist from different disciplines but i have never felt that someone really helped me or really grasped the problem. Most of my psychologist never really believed i was emotionally abusive and it has been a relief to read you. I wanted to Thank you for sharing your experiences and giving me Hope that all can change… They [the lessons] have helped me immensely, i was so lost specially before i read lesson 37 about patience… I did not understand why when I have changed so much the other person is so angry, more reactive and distant than ever. I read that lesson everyday to ease the pain am feeling and i cant Thank you enough for that.

D.J.

[Result of Lesson 5 on Focus]: When my wife asked to give her space it was very hard but after a few weeks of almost no communication… SHE started approaching me.

C.M.

I’m so thankful I came across you and your resources. It’s so worth the investment, and already in the last 48hrs I’m feeling better and supported through this [support] group here

J.L.

Just wanted to share a small proud moment I had… I reflected on previous lessons about accepting what our partners do even if we don’t agree with it. So when she got back… I told her that it sounded like it would be something she would really enjoy and she should do it. She kind of paused for a moment. Then she said she thought the conversation was going to go differently. She thought I was going to lecture her with a bunch of reasons not to do it. I was equally proud of myself and ashamed. Proud that I had made a positive change but ashamed that she was conditioned to feel that way about my behavior. I have a long way to go… [but] having the space to think about my response was huge.

C.T.

I was doing all the things that emotional abuser was being described as and I honestly didn’t even realize it. So I wanted to thank you for giving me much needed perspective and realizations. I have a very long way to go to repair and move forward with this relationship, but I always will have this epiphany to take with me in any future relationship.

T.S..

I’m really getting so much out of this program and have been going through each lesson thoroughly. Been journaling every day and my support group is solid. I definitely have felt a change in myself throughout this… I know I’m getting better and deserve SO much better.

M.G.

…thank you for providing a helpful touchstone by creating this site, and all its various points of reference, for those of us who are seeking support.

A.W.

I so appreciate this [support] forum to find a tiny bit of sanity.

M.C.

Thanks Paul for taking the time to put this [discussion] forum together. It took a long time to realise I had a problem. I think that for many of us we don’t want to be labeled as “bad people/narcissists/emotional abusers, ect.” by the ones who’s love we are losing by my abusive behavior; I spent so much time being defensive and “pushing back” that I did not hear that my mate was hurting… I am doing better, with your Healed Being program, and also a couple of years of a great counselor and of course prayer. I don’t know if the relationship can be saved but in the meantime the healing continues.

W.C.

thanks for the opportunity to help me and help me become a better person this is all new to me as I never thought I was a abusive person but now is the time where I know all the help I need is here.

L.Q.

I cried when I admitted out loud to myself that I was an emotional abuser. I apologized sincerely for how I was showing up in the relationship. I’m still grieving the break up but have taken this as a bottoming out point to get better, solve my childhood wounds and learn to heal. My ex moved away and we haven’t been in contact. I really miss her but I take responsibility for what happened and I really appreciate you running this course so I can become more self aware and heal. Thank you!

C.J.

I am so happy that I’ve found this group. Thanks to Paul for sharing and helping others heal. I had no idea how much of a controlling abuser I was. Your story is mine. I want to get better.

H.H.

My coworker said to me that he noticed a real change in me at work, that I seemed happier and less on edge

A.T.

I really got a lot from Lesson 10 Paul, thank you…. changing my approach to not be hurtful and to try and bring her closer. To engage her and get her to open up, in hopes that ignites her sense of closeness with me… I have all kinds of confidence… I believe in it and myself. Thank you again!

B.H.

As I progress intentionally and painfully through your highly productive and worthwhile program, I am seeing progress and for that, I thank you.

W.W.

Things are well and moving positively… In this process, it was possible to identify and agree that both parties needed to change things in a humble way to give the relationship an opportunity. I am focusing on myself to change some behaviours that made my partner feel bad but at the same time I am healing from a situation of trust in which she was involved. Things are moving in a positive way.

A.C..

These lessons have been invaluable to me and I can’t thank you enough. I am learning so much about myself and my toxic behavior. I have a long way to go but at least I can see the road now. 

W.M.

I just joined Healed Being because your free email series really helped me and I saw improvement in my relating with my boyfriend. When the emails [trial] ended, I again saw a change in our relationship… your perspective is valuable. 

W. J.

Your lessons 5 and 6 were spot on and made a huge impact in my beliefs and thinking.  I look forward to continuing the journey, regardless of its difficulty.

B.H.

One of my clients was referred to this, and he has begun the work using it… I really like what you have said, and your approach… Just wanted to let you know this and say how much I appreciate what you offer and will be referring people to you.”

Licensed Professional Counselor – C.G.

This is helping me immensely. Learning how to start climbing out of this hole I’ve dug most of my life is all new to me and I’m struggling a lot.  I’m committing myself every day to becoming a healthy man.  Thank you again and I look forward to each new lesson in your program. 

C.M.

Really love how you have examples and definitions to really explain the behavior. I can relate. Thank you. I look forward to your future emails.

G.G.

I just joined Healed Being because your free email series really helped me and I saw improvement in my relating with my boyfriend. When the [free] emails ended, I again saw a change in our relationship, back to where it was before I discovered your work. That let me know your perspective is valuable. 

W.J.

Appreciate the messages and insights very much, like thoughtful breadcrumbs, a previous traveler, seeds my path… I have found value in these offerings you have made available to me and my wife feels the same.  

K.B.

…many of the ideas or lessons you sent I think will help allow me to look differently at the way I respond or allow them to take over ( or not take over )  my thoughts . Thanks again , I’m happy I was encouraged to look into your lessons. 

R.M.

I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what you have built here…. I am so thankful for your help

T.R.

Your material, meditation, and psychological support have been valuable and useful to identify the issues, causes and improve areas that made me a better person. In this process, it was possible to identify and agree that both parties needed to change things in a humble way to give the relationship an opportunity. I am focusing on myself to change some behaviours that made my partner feel bad but at the same time I am healing from a situation of trust in which she was involved. Things are moving in a positive way and of course it is too early to say what it would happen in the future. I am happy to continue with the subscription.

A.R.