The Healed Being Program

Sign up to get your four free lessons

    The Healed Being program walks you through the exact steps you need to take to give your relationship the best chance at healing and stop hurting those you love. 

    Thousands have followed this very roadmap to become free of the need to control and change others. And you deserve the chance to heal yourself and your relationships. 

    What you learn in Healed Being will reward you for a lifetime. 

    The first four email lessons are free (No credit card required).

    If you don’t get an email from me within a day, let me know so I can check it out.

    Healed Being Program for the emotional abuser that wants to change
    Taking the first step can be like taking a giant leap into humility. It's not easy, but the journey is worth it.

    Healed Being is the most effective step-by-step program to help you stop emotionally abusive behavior and give you the best chance at healing a damaged relationship

    (if you need guidance as a victim of emotional abuse, click here)

    I was an emotional abuser.

    Honestly, it sucks to admit that. It’s embarrassing. Who wants to say they’re an “abuser”? It’s a word filled with so many horrible images. Yet, I was. And after several failed relationships and finally a divorce, I had to admit I was hurting the people I loved in order to start healing and changing my ways. 

    I have learned how to not only stop my emotionally abusive behaviors but also heal from the triggers that caused them in the first place. I truly feel like a different person today. 

    I created Healed Being to share everything you need to know about how to stop hurtful and controlling behaviors and also how to develop healthier coping strategies when you face difficult situations with someone you care about. 

    After applying just the first few free lessons, you’ll be able to start creating changes in yourself right away.  

    When you start changing, people around you will notice.

    In the Healed Being lessons, you will learn what is causing so many unnecessary challenges in your relationships. The lessons will tell you exactly what you need to do to show up differently. When you follow through with the teachings, those you care about will actually be surprised by the changes you’re making (in a good way). 

    This is exactly what you want to happen. 

    I know from personal experience that hurting people we love is a path to loneliness. It’s just that sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. You may not even realize how some of your behaviors are hurtful. You might even perceive some of your behaviors to be necessary in your relationship. 

    My goal is to give you the best chance at healing yourself to create the strongest relationships possible. Thousands of people have taken the program as of this writing, and they are now seeing real, positive changes in their lives. Many have even saved relationships on the verge of collapse.

    Here are a ton of testimonials. I get them every week.  

    My goal is to give you everything you need to show up as the best version of yourself. When you are no longer carrying around the burden of wanting to control or change other people, your whole life changes.  

    Sign up for the free trial using the form above, and you’ll get the first four lessons along with two bonus Q&As (specific questions I get asked from others in the program). 

    After the trial starts, you’ll be provided the option to purchase the monthly subscription or the full online program if you believe this program applies to you.

    There’s no obligation or pressure to purchase. I hate sales tactics, so I don’t use them. I am here to provide what I know is an important resource to help you reach a new place inside yourself and your relationships. 

    Read and apply the complimentary lessons first, then choose whether to continue with the full program or not. Do whatever feels most comfortable to you. As long as you’re taking the first step, you are giving yourself a chance to change things. 

    Scroll down for full program details

    Quick Tip

    One of the most important steps to stop emotionally abusive behavior is to keep the focus on yourself. If you don’t, you both suffer.

    If you continually focus on someone else, waiting for them to change, you typically stay in a suffering state. The need to control or change someone else is a burden to hold on to. And unless you learn the proper coping skills, that burden you feel will come out in destructive ways toward those you care about most. 

    No matter what, stay focused on your own progress and behaviors, not what you want to change about them. If you put your focus on someone else, waiting for them to change for you, you’ll find yourself repeating the same behaviors that got you here in the first place

    There’s a lot more to this in a future lesson, but I wanted to give you something to work on right away.  

    The healing journey can be difficult if you’re not sure exactly what you’re doing wrong. I’ve made sure this program covers everything you need to know. 

    Healed Being Includes: 

    • Powerful, life-changing lessons sent every few days (or get immediate, lifetime access to all the material, including audios of each lesson and an AI virtual coach with Healed Being Online)


      • There’s an A-ha moment in almost every lesson, helping to guide you in a direction that makes a difference. Make sure to apply what you’ve learned and stick with it.
      • Throughout the lessons, I will help you identify and heal old, unhealthy patterns of behavior and give you the exact steps you need to take to create noticeable changes immediately.

        (Don’t think you need to heal anything? Don’t worry, I won’t force you. But I will help you learn which behaviors are causing so many problems and why.)

    • Detailed Q&As containing my answers to specific challenges that occur with emotional abuse, both personally and in relationships. These are mini-lessons in themselves.


      • In the subscription, the Q&As are sent every few days between regular lessons to help you keep your forward momentum. In the full Healed Being Online course, you’ll get immediate access to all of them, along with future Q&As as well.


    • private support group and discussion board to ask questions and seek guidance directly from me and other members of the program.


      • Non-members cannot see who’s in the group – it’s completely secure. You even have the option to post anonymously. Also, I want to help you move forward as fast as possible, so I reply to every post.


    • Get the emotional abuse victim’s perspective, too. I have talked with a lot of partners and relatives of emotionally abusive people. I will give you my insights taken straight from my conversations with them.


      • Knowing what the other person is thinking and feeling can be very enlightening, helping you understand where they are inside. Understanding both sides of the equation can be a healing process in itself.


    The lessons and Q&As alone will answer most of your questions on their own, but the conversations we have in the support and discussion groups will help to accelerate your learning and fill in the gaps of anything you’re stuck on. You aren’t required to join the support group, but you can get your questions answered if you do. 

    *If you want access to all the content right away, you have the option purchase the full Healed Being Online course with a one-time payment. For more information on both options, click here

    No credit card required to sign up for your complimentary lessons and Q&As. Use the form above to get started right away. The first few lessons will give you a jumpstart to stop hurtful behaviors. You might even find the trial lessons alone are enough to get you started in the right direction.

    My goal is to give you enough tools and resources so that you can venture out on your own when you’re ready. When you believe you have all you need to move forward without any further lessons, you can cancel your membership with no hassle or pressure.

    The Healed Being program comes as either an email membership or online course. 

    The membership is an affordable option that sends the lessons at a solid pace, giving you the time to soak in the content, apply the changes, and see your results as you get ready for the next Q&A or lesson.

    Healed Being Online is the full course. It gives you access to all the lessons and Q&As at once in one easy-to-navigate interface. If you want to fast-track your learning and growth, you’ll get the option to purchase this after you subscribe (your subscription payments will be deducted from the full course price).

    Healed Being Online comes with lifetime access to all the lessons, Q&As (current and future), and both the discussion forum and private Facebook support group.

    If you choose not to subscribe during the trial, the lessons will stop, and you’ll receive a final message from me giving you some next steps to work on toward your healing and growth. 

    If you choose to continue the journey, however, you’ll find the lessons get more specific and more impactful, outlining the exact steps you need to take to see massive changes in your life.

    Healed Being Subscription is $49 / month. 

    What if I want all the lessons right away?” 
    Click Here

    Both the subscription and Healed Being Online course will give you direct access to me and other members through the online support and discussion groups. 

    After signing up for the trial, you should get a welcome email from me within 24 hours. If you don't get it, check your spam folder or reach out to me using the contact form below.

    Yes, the emotional abuser can change.

    I spent most of my life as an emotionally abusive person, mainly toward my romantic partners. It took several failed relationships and a divorce to finally come to the conclusion that I was hurtful, manipulative, and controlling and that I needed to do something about it.

    If you’ve come to a similar conclusion or think you might have some emotionally abusive tendencies and you would like to stop hurting the closest people in your life, add your first name and email to the form above. You’ll get the first four lessons free and start a journey that will give you the tools and resources you need right away.

    Each lesson contains valuable exercises, thought-changing processes, and important questions upon which to reflect so that you can start making changes to not only feel less triggered but also create stronger, healthier relationships.

    Emotional abuse is destructive to the relationship. The person receiving the hurtful behavior will eventually want to be away from the person hurting them, if not physically, emotionally. The emotional distancing others do with you because of your behavior can make you feel even worse. 

    Emotional abuse can also be stressful and burdensome to the perpetrator as well. But I’ve laid out the exact steps you need to take to improve yourself and your relationships. If you’re willing to do whatever it takes to heal from being emotionally abusive, you’ll free yourself from the continuous stress of needing or wanting to control those around you. 

    After you sign up, a new lesson will be sent every few days, along with a Q&A in between the lessons, to help you make changes in your life. 

    I can honestly say that I have healed from almost all of the deeper emotional wounds that have caused me to be hurtful to those I love. I’m not saying I’m perfect. I’m definitely not. But I no longer feel the need to subject anyone to my old emotionally abusive behavior. 

    My healing journey has changed my life. I feel like the weight of a huge burden has been let go. I want you to experience huge changes in yourself and your relationships as well. 

    My personal transformation story out of emotionally abusive behavior is here. You might even learn something life-changing in that article alone as I describe in detail what I did to heal.

    You can and will find healing.

    So many people sign up for this program wanting to save their relationship. I am positive that the Healed Being program is the best chance you have at doing that.

    Unfortunately, not every relationship can be saved. If you are close to losing an important relationship, the good news is that if there’s still love in their heart, there’s a chance. And you will have all the tools you need to give yourself the best chance possible.

    If you’ve already lost an important relationship, healing from old, toxic patterns of behavior will make starting a new one an entirely different experience if that’s your goal. Some people join with the goal of starting a new relationship or saving an existing one. Some are just on a personal journey, wanting to improve themselves. 

    This program not only helps you become the best version of you but also teaches you what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. When you start healing, you will also start noticing certain patterns of behavior in others that might be deemed as emotionally abusive. This is where your personal values and boundaries are important to know, which I also cover. 

    Stay strong throughout this journey. You’ll need a lot of emotional resilience as you discover and reflect on the many reasons you may do hurtful behavior.

    Shortly after signing up, you’ll get the first of the four complementary lessons within a few hours. Within a span of about a week, you’ll get three more.

    In lesson 4, I hope you decide to continue your journey. The lessons become more impactful and will make a huge difference in your life and relationships.

    In the full program, you can ask me and others questions in the support group. You’ll be able to see what other questions were asked as well and find out that almost everyone is going through the same thing.

    You don’t have to be alone as you go through this. I and other members have been through this and can understand and empathize with what you’re feeling and thinking. 

    I look forward to connecting with you soon. Even if you choose not to purchase the full program, at least sign up for the first four lessons. There may be something in those lessons that change everything for you. 

    I wish you much strength and healing on your journey. If you have any questions about the program, use the contact form below.

    Stay strong. 


    Make sure to tune into my podcast Love and Abuse for more on emotional abuse and manipulative behavior. 

    Paul Colaianni

    Behavior and Relationship Coach
    Host of The Overwhelmed Brain and Love and Abuse

    Healed Being and Healed Being Online are not substitutes for professional medical or psychological advice. Seek the guidance of a mental health professional.