What It Takes To Save the Relationship
Helping individuals make positive, permanent changes so that they stop pushing people they love away.
If you don’t receive an email after you sign up check your junk mail or let me know.
Can the relationship be saved?
Yes, but it's not easy after years of emotionally destructive behavior. Healed Being breaks down the behaviors that cause separation and hurt to give those wanting to change the best chance as saving the relationship.
My first step into change felt like swallowing broken glass. It was hard because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.
I damaged every relationship I had before I figured this out. I know what it’s like: The shame. The denial. I honestly thought I might be too broken to fix. The wrong words and behaviors can destroy trust. Healed Being is the best chance at turning things around at any stage of a relationship. This program works.My first step into change felt like swallowing broken glass. It was hard because I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.
I damaged every relationship I had before I figured this out. I know what it’s like: The shame. The denial. I honestly thought I might be too broken to fix. The wrong words and behaviors can destroy trust. Healed Being is the best chance at turning things around at any stage of a relationship. This program works.How to stop the behavior for good.
Healed Being is the exact roadmap to stop emotionally harmful behaviors and rebuild trust.
Even years of damage can be repaired.
I want to thank you for all of your help. We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary… We are continuing our conversations regarding our relationship together with your help and insights. I have much more to thank you for and after completing your program.
I did not even realize my behaviors were destructive.
If there's still love in their heart, there's a chance
The best chance to make life and relationships better.
Take The Quiz!
This quick assessment highlights behaviors that erode love and connection.
My partner and I are dating again, which is really weird… now that the actual healing is taking hold I feel it could actually stop forever!… I’m becoming the man, husband and the father I have always wanted to be and your lessons have been key in the healing process.
What Members Are Saying
Why This Works When Other Programs Don't
Healed Being uncovers the specific behaviors pushing love and connection away. Here are three reasons this program works when others don’t.
Specific to Behaviors That Harm Relationships
Unlike generic therapy or relationship advice, this program specifically addresses the patterns and heals the triggers that cause damage to relationships.
Created by Someone Who Has Been There
I destroyed every relationship I was in until I learned what I needed to stop. I know exactly what it takes to heal and change.
Online Support Group
I provide direct guidance to those who are on a healing journey and want to make positive changes in their life and relationships.
I want to give a huge thank you to Paul and the support of this program! Little over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself to stop living as an emotional abuser. Even if I lost everything, change was still the commitment to myself… I’m sitting here to say “that’s what I used to be.” My family has claimed a new man, one they love being around and now the course of their future has changed. Come out of the darkness, step in light and do this to be a better you… Thank you!
Why This Works When Other Programs Don't
Healed Being uncovers the specific behaviors pushing love and connection away. Here are three reasons this program works when others don’t.
Specific to Behaviors That Harm Relationships
Unlike generic therapy or relationship advice, this program specifically addresses the patterns and heal the triggers that cause damage to relationships
Created by Someone Who Has Been There
I destroyed every relationship I was in until I learned what I needed to stop. I know exactly what it takes to heal and change
Online Support Group
I provide direct guidance to those who are on a healing journey and want to make positive chagnes in their life and relationships.
I want to give a huge thank you to Paul and the support of this program! Little over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself to stop living as an emotional abuser. Even if I lost everything, change was still the commitment to myself… I’m sitting here to say “that’s what I used to be.” My family has claimed a new man, one they love being around and now the course of their future has changed. Come out of the darkness, step in light and do this to be a better you… Thank you!
Yes, there is hope. And the changes come fast.
Hurtful, controlling, and other emotionally damaging behaviors are rarely a permanent character trait. In fact, through my work with literally thousands of people in difficult relationships, I’ve discovered something important:
Most people who exhibit difficult or hurtful behaviors in relationships can change… if they genuinely want to.
Change comes to those who want it badly enough. And I want to work with those who want it so bad they are dedicated to making it happen.
This kind of shift requires an inner desire to be better. That inner desire is the impetus of change.
Healed Being contains all the lessons to be the absolute best partner anyone could want.
How do I know that’s true? Because I spelled everything out, providing the exact formula for a strong, long-lasting relationship.
I’ve personally witnessed remarkable transformations in people who once believed they were “just wired this way.” They went from buying into what others said about them to proving everyone wrong and showing up as someone unrecognizable — in the best possible way.
What's Inside The Program?
Inside Healed Being:
Learn what behaviors have disintegrated love and connection. And learn exactly what needs to happen instead that heals and strengthens that connection
How to identify triggers and develop healthier responses before they turn into hurtful behaviors
What creates the opposite effect in a relationship and and how to stop the cycle
The real difference between what brings someone closer and what pushes them away
Recognizing when fear is driving behavior and what to do about it in the moment
What’s really happening in trigger moments and how to process those feelings without hurting others
What it takes to build the kind of trust and safety that allows love to grow instead of fade
How to create a relationship where both people feel safe, valued, and free to be themselves
Each lesson works on its own and also builds on the previous one, building a solid foundation that creates change fast and in a compounding way.
Lifelong patterns that have damaged relationships can stop.
And those who’ve hurt others they care about learn what actual love and connection feel like.
The healing journey isn’t easy, but there’s a guide every step of the way. And it’s worth every minute put into it.
Healed Being is the best chance to repair a damaged relationship
I did a two month intensive outpatient DBT program, I did Gabor Maté’s healing method, did an 10 week anger management course and read some books. Your program was the standout, most complete and comprehensive and made for my trauma... Amazing program. Truly. 3 weeks ago my wife returned and we haven’t had a single fight... Thank you so much!
A 24-7 Relationship Coach - Always On Call
A private, personal “Virtual Coach.”
It’s remarkable.
Healed Being Online Complete is lifetime access to both the online support group and a private, virtual coach, an extremely helpful AI version of me trained on my proprietary Healed Being framework, providing all the answers to every question any member will ever have. Training updated weekly.
Always available for immediate guidance.
Pricing And Enrollment Options
Available as a subscription or lifetime
Subscription Option:
Healed Being Subscription
Lessons Every 2 to 3 Days / Online Support Group-
Life and relationship-changing lessons sent every 3 days.
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Q&As sent in between each lesson (Powerful mini-lessons on their own)
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Immediate access to the private online support group
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Cancel anytime. It's easy - No hassle.
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75 lessons + ongoing support.
$197/month
Cancel anytime.
No hassle.
Paul, your program changed my life. It started with your podcasts and then I learned about your program. You saved my marriage and we couldn’t be happier.
Wow there are a ton of other resources in the lifetime membership too. I’m going to purchase that. Seriously can’t thank you enough— this has been the best thing for me over the last year and a half.
Lifetime Option:
Healed Being Online Complete
Full Course / Lifetime Access & Support / Extras-
Immediate, Lifetime Access to the Full Course, including all of the life-changing lessons, Q&As, and online support group
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The Personal Virtual Coach – A powerful, conversational AI chatbot trained specifically in all the lessons and material to help with every aspect of this process. It is continually updated and will even help evaluate that email or text for toxic language before sending.
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The Trigger Challenge Coach – An interactive tool that presents endless challenges to assess and help fine tune reactions and responses to triggering situations.
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The S.A.F.E. System for Anxiety: A unique and effective audio system I created with other experts in the field to help alleviate anxiety.
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The M.E.A.N. Workbook Online: The relationship assessment and healing guide for recipients of emotionally abusive behavior (it can be helpful to understand both sides)
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The Stop Self-Sabotage Workbook Online: For those getting results they don’t want, this is how to stop self-sabotaging happiness.
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Audio versions of each lesson – listen on the go
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PDFs of each lesson – print and highlight as needed
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Healed Being Online is a one-time, lifetime purchase: No more payments - ever.
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A $3500 value!
Today: $997 $3500
One-time payment.
Save over $2500!
No recurring charges.
What's the best option?
Healed Being Online Complete
Healed Being Subscription
Instant, lifetime access to:
All 75 lessons & Q&As
The 24/7 Virtual Coach & extra resources, And unlimited support in the online group.
A new lesson every three days with Q&As in between, plus immediate access to the online support group. Drip-fed lessons to help absorb and implement so the changes stick.
Both options have everything needed to heal and create the healthiest, most nurturing relationships.
I’m reaching out to thank you because your AI chat feature (the Virtual Coach) helped me achieve a breakthrough... I yelled and cursed at my mother... This led to us not talking to each other for over a week... I got the idea to write her an apology letter, and your AI chat helped me craft it. I hand wrote it and left it on her bedside table... she read it and came to me in my bedroom in tears... She said she accepts my apology... I’m telling you all this to thank you for helping me achieve what feels like a breakthrough in vulnerability and communication with my mom because this moment was in great part thanks to your AI chat feature.
...I know I’m not supposed to use the bot as a replacement for therapy but it’s definitely an enormous help... I am actively in therapy once a week and I was accessing the bot 2 to 3 times a week. Pretty amazing tool.
Frequently Asked Questions
Subscription: You’ll receive a new lesson every three days, plus Q&As in between, for just over seven months (75 lessons total). You can cancel anytime.
Lifetime: You get immediate access to all 75 lessons right away and can go at your own pace.
When will I see results?
Most people notice big changes within the first few weeks. The first 20 lessons build your foundation, and the rest help you avoid slipping back into old patterns. Everything you learn and apply creates lasting change.
Which option is right for me?
- Choose Subscription if you want lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one.
- Choose Lifetime if you want all the material now and prefer to work at your own pace.
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where you can connect with me and others in the program.
For more details on both options, click here.
Short answer: This program gives you the best chance to save your relationship after emotionally harmful behavior.
Long answer: It depends on whether they still have love in their heart for you.
If you’re truly committed to changing, applying the lessons, and they still love you, there’s a good chance the relationship can be saved.
But some people get pushed too far. When someone reaches their limit and seals their heart shut, reconciliation becomes very difficult. Not impossible, but difficult.
Unfortunately, some people join this program after they’ve already pushed their partner beyond their limit. If someone has completely closed their heart, it’s hard to come back from that. But as long as there’s still love somewhere, there’s a chance.
Here’s what matters most:
Keep working on yourself regardless of what happens with the relationship. Even if you’re losing them today, you don’t know what tomorrow or next year will bring. You might reconcile, or you might meet someone new and not want to lose that relationship either.
Focus on your own healing and growth. Show up as the best version of yourself, for yourself.
Start with the free lessons. They’ll give you a solid introduction to the material and help you decide if this program is right for you.
If you resonate with the testimonials from people who’ve gone through the program, you’ll likely benefit from Healed Being too.
Not sure yet?
Sign up for the subscription for one month. That will give you a clear sense of the changes happening in your life. If you don’t see the results you’re hoping for, you can cancel anytime.
If you answered yes to any of the questions in the assessment earlier on this page, you’ll definitely find the program valuable.
Start with the subscription or get Healed Being Online Complete for immediate access to all 75 lessons.
You can always upgrade from subscription to lifetime later. Either way, you’ll start seeing results as soon as you begin.
I maintain a very limited roster for one-on-one clients to ensure the highest level of focus and intensity.
This path is for those who want an accelerated, deep-dive approach to their specific situation in a confidential setting.
To inquire about private sessions: Send an email to paul@healedbeing.com with the subject line “private sessions” and a brief summary of your goals/challenges.
The feedback has been incredible. This program works, and people reach out constantly to share their wins, breakthroughs, and gratitude.
Yes. It’s called Healed Being Online Complete. Full details here.
No. It’s very easy. Every email has a “Cancel Program” link at the bottom.
I hate subscriptions that are hard to cancel, so you won’t get that here. No cancellation department. No one begging you to stay.
You’ll know when it’s time to move forward on your own.
The Q&As are my responses to specific questions about relationships and behavior. They’re valuable lessons on their own and may address something you’re going through right now.
Over the years, I’ve received hundreds of questions about emotionally harmful behavior. I turn each one into a Q&A lesson so everyone can benefit.
I continue to get questions from both sides of these relationships and write new Q&As regularly. If you purchase Healed Being Online Complete, you get lifetime access to all current and future Q&As, plus lifetime access to the online support group.
If you’re physically abusive and want to change, I’m glad you’re taking this step. Your life and relationships will benefit enormously.
Three things must be true for real change to happen:
- You admit you have a problem (and truly believe it, not just say it because someone told you to)
- You genuinely want to change and heal what’s driving the behavior
- You step into humility and accept that you’ve been wrong about a lot of things
Number 3 is usually the hardest. For me, it meant learning that relationships aren’t about controlling the other person but about letting go of control. I believed if I couldn’t control people, I’d be hurt or unhappy. So I stayed in control, which meant staying abusive.
Physical abuse stems from emotional abuse.
Controlling takes many forms: covert manipulation, guilting, belittling, invalidating. Physical abuse is an extension of that control, where you believe the way to avoid discomfort is by physically overpowering someone.
Healed Being addresses the origins of your emotional triggers and the upset under the behaviors. It helps you understand what you’re doing that leads to abuse and gives you tools to show up differently.
However, you should also work with a therapist or professional who specializes in domestic violence or anger management. Physical abuse can involve knee-jerk fight-or-flight reactions that require one-on-one professional support alongside this program.
Will this program work for physical abusers?
It will help because it addresses the origins of abusive behavior. I’ve had physical abusers in the program who gained a lot from the lessons and support group, and all have stopped their physically abusive behaviors.
Will it stop you from being physically abusive?
It may, but only a professional can assess that. If you’ve been physically abusive, use this program in conjunction with professional help.
What’s most important?
You have to want to stop so badly that you’re willing to suffer discomfort and get results you don’t want. Your healing and change must become priorities over your fear of what might happen if you let go of control.
Here’s the truth:
Abusers don’t want to be unhappy or uncomfortable. Stopping abusive behaviors means accepting that you’ll likely feel unhappy and uncomfortable as you go through this process.
But what you may not realize is that when you stop the controlling and abusive behaviors, the unhappiness and discomfort you fear will very likely never happen at all.
The fear of what could happen is what keeps people abusive. If you weren’t afraid of what might happen if you let go of controlling another person, would you still be abusive? That’s a question worth reflecting on.
At a minimum, sign up for the free lessons. You’ll learn very quickly if you resonate with what I teach. If you do, you’ll know the rest of the program will be valuable to you.
No matter what, never stop pursuing healing from this.
Subscription: $197/month. New lessons every three days with Q&As in between. Cancel anytime.
Lifetime (Healed Being Online Complete): $997 one-time payment. Immediate access to all 75 lessons, Q&As, the Virtual Coach, and lifetime access to the online support group.
See full pricing details here.
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where you can connect with me and others in the program.
Which should you choose?
- Subscription if you want lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one
- Lifetime if you want all the material now and prefer to work at your own pace
Both are effective and life-changing.
Start with the free lessons. They’ll give you a solid introduction to the material and help you see if this program is right for you.
The subscription is also the most budget-friendly option.
For about the price of a single therapy session, you get an entire month of lessons, Q&As, and direct access to me and others in the online support group.
Want more free content while you’re deciding?
I host two podcasts:
The Overwhelmed Brain – Helps you make good decisions, become emotionally intelligent, and create great relationships.
Love and Abuse – Focuses on emotionally harmful relationships and how to deal with hurtful behavior. Many episodes offer guidance for those doing the harm as well.
Both are effective. The right choice depends on your budget, learning style, and timeline.
Choose Subscription if:
- You prefer lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one
- You want a couple of days between lessons to gauge your progress and observe results
- You prefer getting emails over working through an online course at your own pace
- You’re watching your budget
Choose Lifetime (Healed Being Online Complete) if:
- You want all 75 lessons immediately and prefer to set your own pace
- You want lifetime access to the Virtual Coach (AI chatbot trained on everything I know)
- You want lifetime access to the online support group
- You have the budget and want to achieve results as quickly as possible
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where I reply to every post.
Absolutely. Feel free to reach out anytime. Here’s my contact form.
Ready to start? Get the free lessons or join the full program now.
More Success Stories
About Paul
Paul Colaianni
Emotional Abuse Expert
Behavior & Relationship Specialist
Author of The M.E.A.N. Workbook and
The Overwhelmed Brain
Host of the Love and Abuse podcast
Host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast
Questions? I’m here to help.
Healed Being and Healed Being Online Complete are not substitutes for professional medical or psychological advice. Seek the guidance of a mental health professional.