You've hurt someone you love.
Now what?
Stop the controlling, manipulative behavior before you lose them for good. Learn how in the next 10 minutes.
If you don’t receive an email after you sign up check your junk mail or let me know.
Can the relationship be saved?
Maybe. But here's what I know for sure: If you don't change, it's over. Not today, maybe not next
month, but eventually. They'll leave, or they'll stay and resent you forever. Either way you lose.
The first step feels like swallowing broken glass. But it changes everything.
I damaged every relationship I had before I figured this out. I know what you’re going through. The shame. The denial. The fear that you’re too broken to fix.
If your words and behaviors have destroyed trust, Healed Being is your best chance at turning things around. Not therapy-speak. Not feel-good platitudes. Just a program that actually works.
The first step feels like swallowing broken glass. But it changes
everything.
I damaged every relationship I had before I figured this out. I know what you’re going through. The shame. The denial. The fear that you’re too broken to fix.
If your words and behaviors have destroyed trust, Healed Being is your best chance at turning things around. Not therapy-speak. Not feel-good platitudes. Just a program that acutally works.
Learn why you hurt the people you love and how to stop the behavior for good.
Healed Being gives you the exact roadmap to stop emotionally harmful behaviors and rebuild trust.
Even years of damage can be repaired – but only if you start now.
I want to thank you for all of your help. We just celebrated our 50th wedding anniversary… We are continuing our conversations regarding our relationship together with your help and insights. I have much more to thank you for and after completing your program.
You may not even realize your behaviors are destructive. I know I didn't.
This was the hardest journey of my life. If you aren’t given the right relationship tools growing up, you might just mess them up like I did. After so much heartbreak, I finally accepted that I needed to start doing something different or I’d never be able to keep a relationship.
So I committed to doing whatever it took to make sure I never fell back into old, unhealthy patterns of behavior. I made a lot of mistakes along the way, but I learned from all of them. And I now feel better than ever. And I’m in the longest, best relationship of my life.
The truth is that I used to be an emotionally abusive person.
It sucks to admit that. It’s embarrassing. But I can’t deny it. I honestly believed that if my partner would only do what I say, we’d both be happy. That kind of toxic thinking was what got me into trouble every single time.
After reflecting on my past broken relationships, including a divorce I never saw coming, I had no choice but to finally admit and accept the truth that I was the common denominator in all of my relationship failures.
That admission was exactly what I needed to start healing the behaviors that hurt people I care about.
Today, I no longer feel the need to control or change people I love. I’ve also healed the emotional triggers that caused my damaging behaviors in the first place. I truly feel like an entirely different person.
If there's still love in their heart, there's a chance
Healed Being walks you through everything you need to know about how to stop causing people you care about to distance themselves from you.
If someone you love feels that you have been hurtful and controlling and tells you they want you to “change, or else,” this is the program you need.
When you start changing, people around you will notice.
You won’t have to tell them you’re working on things because they’ll see the changes in real time, just by observing how different you are.
The reason for that is because someone you’ve hurt knows what to expect from you. They know your patterns. They know exactly what you’ll do or say, and when. And especially, they believe that you’re going to make them feel bad in some way.
But when they experience something different from you — something they like, something that makes them feel good — that is the first step to rebuilding trust and safety in the relationship.
You want to be the reason they feel good instead of the reason they hurt.
With Healed Being, I walk you through everything you need to pinpoint and resolve the exact issues that are making the relationship unnecessarily difficult for both of you.
This program is the perfect formula for not only eliminating the toxic components of what could be a great relationship, but also turning you into someone people you love want to be close to.
Every lesson gives you a new A-ha! moment to help you make significant progress right away. And I help you accelerate your progress by replying directly to every single post in the online support group. You will never be left wondering what to do next.
Those who have taken the program share their stories with me all the time. The changes I’ve seen in them and their relationships are phenomenal. Many of the thousands of people who have joined have even saved relationships on the verge of collapse.
This is your chance to make your life and relationships better.
Find out if you are you causing damage to the relationship
This quick assessment will show you if you’re doing behaviors that erode love and connection.
Answer the following questions honestly. Your current (or future) relationship depends on it.
My partner and I are dating again, which is really weird… now that the actual healing is taking hold I feel it could actually stop forever!… I’m becoming the man, husband and the father I have always wanted to be and your lessons have been key in the healing process.
The one question that stops destructive behavior in its tracks:
Is what I’m about to do an effort to change or control them?
This one question has saved me from pushing people away more times than I can count. That brief pause gives you just enough time to make a different choice.
The one question that stops destructive behavior in its tracks:
Is what I’m about to do an effort to change or control them?
This one question has saved me from pushing people away more times than I can count. That brief pause gives you just enough time to make a different choice.
What Members Are Saying
Why This Works When Other Programs Don't
Healed Being uncovers the specific behaviors pushing love and connection away.
Here are three reasons this program works when others don’t.
Specific to Behaviors That Harm Relationships
Unlike generic therapy or relationship advice, this program specifically helps you stop the patterns and heal the triggers that cause damage to relationships.
Created by Someone Who Has Been Where You Are
I destroyed every relationship I was in until I learned what I needed to stop. I know exactly what you're going through and what it takes to heal and change.
Online Support Group to Accelerate Your Progress
You're not alone. Get direct guidance from me and others who can empathize with the major changes you're facing right now.
I want to give a huge thank you to Paul and the support of this program! Little over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself to stop living as an emotional abuser. Even if I lost everything, change was still the commitment to myself… I’m sitting here to say “that’s what I used to be.” My family has claimed a new man, one they love being around and now the course of their future has changed. Come out of the darkness, step in light and do this to be a better you… Thank you!
Why This Works When Other Programs Don't
Healed Being uncovers the specific behaviors pushing love and connection away.
Here are three reasons this program works when others don’t.
Specific to Behaviors That Harm Relationships
Unlike generic therapy or relationship advice, this program specifically helps you stop the patterns and heal the triggers that cause damage to relationships
Created by Someone Who Has Been Where You Are
I destroyed every relationship I was in until I learned what I needed to stop. I know exactly what you're going through and what it takes to heal and change
Online Support Group to Accelerate Your Progress
You're not alone. Get direct guidance from me and others who can empathize with the major changes you're facing right now.
I want to give a huge thank you to Paul and the support of this program! Little over a year ago, I made a commitment to myself to stop living as an emotional abuser. Even if I lost everything, change was still the commitment to myself… I’m sitting here to say “that’s what I used to be.” My family has claimed a new man, one they love being around and now the course of their future has changed. Come out of the darkness, step in light and do this to be a better you… Thank you!
Yes, there is hope. And you'll see changes faster than you think.
If you are doing hurtful, controlling, or other emotionally damaging behaviors, whether you realize it or not, it’s rare that they are a permanent character trait. In fact, through my work with literally thousands of people in difficult relationships, I’ve discovered something important:
Most people who exhibit difficult or hurtful behaviors in relationships can change… if they genuinely want to.
And that’s the difference that makes the difference. If you want to change, you can and will do so. That motivation compels you to want to show up as the best version of yourself, for yourself, and those you love.
If you couldn’t do this, you wouldn’t be here reading this right now because this kind of shift requires an inner desire to be better than you are. That inner desire is the impetus of change. And since you’re here considering this program, you have already started on the path of healing.
By the time you’ve completed the lessons, you will be the best partner and person anyone could want.
How do I know that’s true? Because everything you need to do will be spelled out for you. You will be following the exact formula for a strong, long-lasting relationship.
I’ve personally witnessed remarkable transformations in people who once believed they were “just wired this way.” They went from buying into what others said about them to proving everyone wrong and showing up as someone unrecognizable — in the best possible way.
What You'll Learn Inside The Program
Here’s exactly what you’ll discover:
Why what you’ve been doing has disintegrated love and connection, and exactly what you need to do instead that heals and strengthens it
How to identify your triggers and develop healthier responses before they turn into hurtful behavior
What creates the opposite of what you want in a relationship, and how to stop that cycle
The real difference between behaviors that bring someone closer and behaviors that push them away
How to recognize when fear is driving your actions and what to do about it in the moment
What’s really happening inside you when you get triggered, and how to process those feelings without hurting the people you care about
What it takes to build the kind of trust and safety that allows love to grow instead of fade
How to create a relationship where both people feel safe, valued, and free to be themselves
Each lesson works on its own and also builds on the previous one, helping you understand why you’ve been showing up the way you have and what needs to shift for real change to happen.
If you’re reading this and wondering if you can change lifelong patterns that have damaged your relationships, the answer is yes. If you care about the person you’ve hurt and you’re willing to humbly accept that you may be wrong about a lot of things, you can change.
The healing journey isn’t easy, but I will guide you every step of the way. And it’s worth every minute you put into it for you and those you love.
This is your best chance to repair a damaged relationship
I did a two month intensive outpatient DBT program, I did Gabor Maté’s healing method, did an 10 week anger management course and read some books. Your program was the standout, most complete and comprehensive and made for my trauma... Amazing program. Truly. 3 weeks ago my wife returned and we haven’t had a single fight... Thank you so much!
Do You Want a 24-7 Relationship Coach?
Talk to your own, personal “Virtual Coach” anytime you need it. It’s remarkable.
With Healed Being Online Complete, you get lifetime access to both the online support group and your own virtual coach, a private, extremely helpful AI version of me trained on my proprietary Healed Being framework and all the answers to every question you’ll ever have. Training updated weekly.
When you need immediate guidance, your private coach is ready.
Don't have time to wait? Skip the free lessons and start the full program now.
Pricing And Enrollment Options
Do you want the subscription or lifetime option?
Lifetime Option:
Subscription Option:
Healed Being Subscription
Lessons Every 2 to 3 Days / Online Support Group-
Life and relationship-changing lessons sent every 3 days.
-
Q&As sent in between each lesson (Powerful mini-lessons on their own)
-
Immediate access to the private online support group
-
Cancel anytime. It's easy - No hassle.
-
75 lessons + ongoing support for as long as you're subscribed. You'll see changes immediately.
$197/month
Cancel anytime.
No hassle.
Paul, your program changed my life. It started with your podcasts and then I learned about your program. You saved my marriage and we couldn’t be happier.
Wow there are a ton of other resources in the lifetime membership too. I’m going to purchase that. Seriously can’t thank you enough— this has been the best thing for me over the last year and a half.
Healed Being Online Complete
Full Course / Lifetime Access & Support / Extras-
Immediate, Lifetime Access to the Full Course, including all of the life-changing lessons, Q&As, and online support group
-
Your Personal Virtual Coach – A powerful, conversational AI chatbot trained specifically in all the lessons and material to help you with every aspect of this process. It is continually updated and will even help you evaluate that email or text for toxic language before you send it.
-
The Trigger Challenge Coach – An interactive tool that presents you with endless challenges to assess and help you fine tune your reactions and responses to triggering situations.
-
The S.A.F.E. System for Anxiety: A unique and effective audio system I created with other experts in the field to help you alleviate anxiety as it starts
-
The M.E.A.N. Workbook Online: The relationship assessment and healing guide for recipients of emotionally abusive behavior (it can be helpful to understand both sides)
-
The Stop Self-Sabotage Workbook Online: If you keep getting results you don’t want, you may be sabotaging your own happiness. This workbook guides you with the exact steps to change that.
-
Audio versions of each lesson – listen on the go
-
PDFs of each lesson – print and highlight as needed
-
Healed Being Online is a one-time, lifetime purchase: No more payments - ever.
-
A $3500 value!
Today: $997 $3500
One-time payment.
Save over $2500!
No recurring charges.
Which option is right for you?
Healed Being Online Complete
Healed Being Subscription
Instant, lifetime access to:
All 75 lessons & Q&As
The 24/7 Virtual Coach & extra resources, And unlimited support in the online group.
A new lesson every three days with Q&As in between, plus immediate access to the online support group. Take your time to absorb and implement so the changes stick.
Whichever version you choose, you'll have everything you need to heal and create the healthiest, most nurturing relationships of your life.
I’m reaching out to thank you because your AI chat feature (the Virtual Coach) helped me achieve a breakthrough... I yelled and cursed at my mother... This led to us not talking to each other for over a week... I got the idea to write her an apology letter, and your AI chat helped me craft it. I hand wrote it and left it on her bedside table... she read it and came to me in my bedroom in tears... She said she accepts my apology... I’m telling you all this to thank you for helping me achieve what feels like a breakthrough in vulnerability and communication with my mom because this moment was in great part thanks to your AI chat feature.
...I know I’m not supposed to use the bot as a replacement for therapy but it’s definitely an enormous help... I am actively in therapy once a week and I was accessing the bot 2 to 3 times a week. Pretty amazing tool.
Frequently Asked Questions
Subscription: You’ll receive a new lesson every three days, plus Q&As in between, for just over seven months (75 lessons total). You can cancel anytime.
Lifetime: You get immediate access to all 75 lessons right away and can go at your own pace.
When will I see results?
Most people notice big changes within the first few weeks. The first 20 lessons build your foundation, and the rest help you avoid slipping back into old patterns. Everything you learn and apply creates lasting change.
Which option is right for me?
- Choose Subscription if you want lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one.
- Choose Lifetime if you want all the material now and prefer to work at your own pace.
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where you can connect with me and others in the program.
For more details on both options, click here.
Short answer: This program gives you the best chance to save your relationship after emotionally harmful behavior.
Long answer: It depends on whether they still have love in their heart for you.
If you’re truly committed to changing, applying the lessons, and they still love you, there’s a good chance the relationship can be saved.
But some people get pushed too far. When someone reaches their limit and seals their heart shut, reconciliation becomes very difficult. Not impossible, but difficult.
Unfortunately, some people join this program after they’ve already pushed their partner beyond their limit. If someone has completely closed their heart, it’s hard to come back from that. But as long as there’s still love somewhere, there’s a chance.
Here’s what matters most:
Keep working on yourself regardless of what happens with the relationship. Even if you’re losing them today, you don’t know what tomorrow or next year will bring. You might reconcile, or you might meet someone new and not want to lose that relationship either.
Focus on your own healing and growth. Show up as the best version of yourself, for yourself.
Start with the free lessons. They’ll give you a solid introduction to the material and help you decide if this program is right for you.
If you resonate with the testimonials from people who’ve gone through the program, you’ll likely benefit from Healed Being too.
Not sure yet?
Sign up for the subscription for one month. That will give you a clear sense of the changes happening in your life. If you don’t see the results you’re hoping for, you can cancel anytime.
If you answered yes to any of the questions in the assessment earlier on this page, you’ll definitely find the program valuable.
Start with the subscription or get Healed Being Online Complete for immediate access to all 75 lessons.
You can always upgrade from subscription to lifetime later. Either way, you’ll start seeing results as soon as you begin.
I maintain a very limited roster for one-on-one clients to ensure the highest level of focus and intensity.
This path is for those who want an accelerated, deep-dive approach to their specific situation in a confidential setting.
To inquire about private sessions: Send an email to paul@healedbeing.com with the subject line “private sessions” and a brief summary of your goals/challenges.
The feedback has been incredible. This program works, and people reach out constantly to share their wins, breakthroughs, and gratitude.
Yes. It’s called Healed Being Online Complete. Full details here.
No. It’s very easy. Every email has a “Cancel Program” link at the bottom.
I hate subscriptions that are hard to cancel, so you won’t get that here. No cancellation department. No one begging you to stay.
You’ll know when it’s time to move forward on your own.
The Q&As are my responses to specific questions about relationships and behavior. They’re valuable lessons on their own and may address something you’re going through right now.
Over the years, I’ve received hundreds of questions about emotionally harmful behavior. I turn each one into a Q&A lesson so everyone can benefit.
I continue to get questions from both sides of these relationships and write new Q&As regularly. If you purchase Healed Being Online Complete, you get lifetime access to all current and future Q&As, plus lifetime access to the online support group.
If you’re physically abusive and want to change, I’m glad you’re taking this step. Your life and relationships will benefit enormously.
Three things must be true for real change to happen:
- You admit you have a problem (and truly believe it, not just say it because someone told you to)
- You genuinely want to change and heal what’s driving the behavior
- You step into humility and accept that you’ve been wrong about a lot of things
Number 3 is usually the hardest. For me, it meant learning that relationships aren’t about controlling the other person but about letting go of control. I believed if I couldn’t control people, I’d be hurt or unhappy. So I stayed in control, which meant staying abusive.
Physical abuse stems from emotional abuse.
Controlling takes many forms: covert manipulation, guilting, belittling, invalidating. Physical abuse is an extension of that control, where you believe the way to avoid discomfort is by physically overpowering someone.
Healed Being addresses the origins of your emotional triggers and the upset under the behaviors. It helps you understand what you’re doing that leads to abuse and gives you tools to show up differently.
However, you should also work with a therapist or professional who specializes in domestic violence or anger management. Physical abuse can involve knee-jerk fight-or-flight reactions that require one-on-one professional support alongside this program.
Will this program work for physical abusers?
It will help because it addresses the origins of abusive behavior. I’ve had physical abusers in the program who gained a lot from the lessons and support group, and all have stopped their physically abusive behaviors.
Will it stop you from being physically abusive?
It may, but only a professional can assess that. If you’ve been physically abusive, use this program in conjunction with professional help.
What’s most important?
You have to want to stop so badly that you’re willing to suffer discomfort and get results you don’t want. Your healing and change must become priorities over your fear of what might happen if you let go of control.
Here’s the truth:
Abusers don’t want to be unhappy or uncomfortable. Stopping abusive behaviors means accepting that you’ll likely feel unhappy and uncomfortable as you go through this process.
But what you may not realize is that when you stop the controlling and abusive behaviors, the unhappiness and discomfort you fear will very likely never happen at all.
The fear of what could happen is what keeps people abusive. If you weren’t afraid of what might happen if you let go of controlling another person, would you still be abusive? That’s a question worth reflecting on.
At a minimum, sign up for the free lessons. You’ll learn very quickly if you resonate with what I teach. If you do, you’ll know the rest of the program will be valuable to you.
No matter what, never stop pursuing healing from this.
Subscription: $197/month. New lessons every three days with Q&As in between. Cancel anytime.
Lifetime (Healed Being Online Complete): $997 one-time payment. Immediate access to all 75 lessons, Q&As, the Virtual Coach, and lifetime access to the online support group.
See full pricing details here.
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where you can connect with me and others in the program.
Which should you choose?
- Subscription if you want lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one
- Lifetime if you want all the material now and prefer to work at your own pace
Both are effective and life-changing.
Start with the free lessons. They’ll give you a solid introduction to the material and help you see if this program is right for you.
The subscription is also the most budget-friendly option.
For about the price of a single therapy session, you get an entire month of lessons, Q&As, and direct access to me and others in the online support group.
Want more free content while you’re deciding?
I host two podcasts:
The Overwhelmed Brain – Helps you make good decisions, become emotionally intelligent, and create great relationships.
Love and Abuse – Focuses on emotionally harmful relationships and how to deal with hurtful behavior. Many episodes offer guidance for those doing the harm as well.
Both are effective. The right choice depends on your budget, learning style, and timeline.
Choose Subscription if:
- You prefer lessons delivered at a steady pace with time to absorb and apply each one
- You want a couple of days between lessons to gauge your progress and observe results
- You prefer getting emails over working through an online course at your own pace
- You’re watching your budget
Choose Lifetime (Healed Being Online Complete) if:
- You want all 75 lessons immediately and prefer to set your own pace
- You want lifetime access to the Virtual Coach (AI chatbot trained on everything I know)
- You want lifetime access to the online support group
- You have the budget and want to achieve results as quickly as possible
Both options give you immediate access to the online support group where I reply to every post.
Absolutely. Feel free to reach out anytime. Here’s my contact form.
Ready to start? Get the free lessons or join the full program now.
More Success Stories
About Paul
Paul Colaianni
Emotional Abuse Expert
Behavior & Relationship Specialist
Author of The M.E.A.N. Workbook and
The Overwhelmed Brain
Host of the Love and Abuse podcast
Host of The Overwhelmed Brain podcast
Questions? I’m here to help.
Healed Being and Healed Being Online Complete are not substitutes for professional medical or psychological advice. Seek the guidance of a mental health professional.